1. On your butt, shorts aren't shorts: They’re underwear.
2. And it’s impossible to wear them for more than 15 seconds without them bunching up between your thighs.
3. Plus, when you’re sitting, your thighs somehow double in size.
4. Not to mention that the crotch of your shorts can cause nonstop drama.
5. The threat of chub rub makes skirts terrifying.
6. And if you end up with chub rub, you won’t be able to wear any skirts for at least two weeks.
7. Tank Tops + Big Boobs + Hot Day = The burning fun of upper arm chafing!
8. Every time you bend over in a dress, you worry about whether or not your butt is still covered.
9. And no skirt ever fits you the same in the front as it does it the back.
And no skirt ever fits you the same in the front as it does it the back.
10. You are always in danger of your boobs accidentally falling out of your tank top.
11. Sweatiness isn’t just an underarm problem, it’s an EVERYWHERE problem.
12. Because underboob sweat can and will strike at any moment.
13. And one of your biggest secret fears is getting up and leaving a sweaty butt print somewhere.
14. And you HATE having to choose between covering up more and getting too hot.
15. But if you sit around totally naked, you’ll end up sweatier than you could ever possibly imagine.
16. No bathing suit fits you well in both the boobs and the butt.
17. And running in a bikini is faaaar more dangerous than it looks.
18. Not to mention that when you go into the ocean in a bathing suit, there is a 50% chance that you will pop out.
19. Bikini bottoms only come in two sizes: digging into your hips, or falling off of them.
Bikini bottoms only come in two sizes: digging into your hips, or falling off of them.
20. When you wear a screen-printed tank top, your boobs are going to stretch it out to death.
21. There is just no better feeling in the world than getting to air yourself out after a hot day.
